Life is Pain
by Diva Actress
Summary: April Oneshot. Her life in segments from her first day her senior year to after her death. Please R&R. Diva


April one-shot that I thought of. Her life from high school until her death, what I think happened. THANK YOU JONATHAN LARSON!

**Line**

_April's POV_

_God, I hate mornings!_ I slowly inched my way to the end of my bed, slide down the edge, and with my blanket still covering me, I crawled into my walk-in closet. I rummaged through the racks, pulling out t-shirt after t-shirt, until I found my Pink Floyd shirt that I got over the summer, worn multiple times since the concert so that I was glad I had bought two, plus the one for my friend. After slipping out of my tank top I pulled on the t-shirt. _Thank God I'm a senior and will never have to battle early mornings of catching the bus for school again!_ I pulled on a pair of faded jeans with holes ripped in the knees over my underwear. Mother hated the fact that I slept in nothing but a tank top and my underwear, but hey, it's my body! I should be able to dress it how I please.

"April, are you outta bed yet?!" Mother.

"Yes Mother, I'll be down in a minute!" I trudged into my bathroom; looking in the mirror, I applied my eye shadow and eyeliner, both dark in color, another thing Mother hated. I ruffled my hair, making it messier than it already was. With a nod of approval at myself, I went back into my bedroom, and pulled out my Converse from under a pile of last year's books and notes.

"April!"

"Coming Mother!" _God, that woman is driving me fucking insane!_ I bounded down the stairs. "Morning," I grumbled.

"Oh April, is that what you're going to wear for your first day your senior year?" Disappointment filled her voice. "What about making a good first impression?"

"All the teachers already know that I'm not the average stuck-up snob that all the other kids are here. They all already consider me a massive defiance of abnormality and a trouble-maker." I sat down, and ate my apple in silence; Mother went on yaddering on about first impressions and my appearance. "Bye Mother, see you when I get home." I raced out the door, just in time for the bus. _Another day in Scarsdale High hell._ I boarded the bus and took my seat. The bus driver grimaced upon seeing me again. "I haven't graduated yet Rick, one more year!" Rick rolled his eyes and I turned up the volume on my cassette player, Led Zeppelin blasting through the head phones. The freshmen stared at me in wonderment, and I flashed them a grin. One actually seemed interested in the music I was listening to, and maybe even me, but her friend whispered something in her ear, and that was that. The bus pulled into what everyone else called Scarsdale High, and what I called hell.

"April!" Ah, my trusty companion in mischief, Sloane.

"Sloane! How was your summer?"

"My parents dragged me off to Iowa for a month, family reunion type thing, so not only could I not go see Pink Floyd, but I had to sneak my cigarettes. It was almost worse than hell. How was the concert?"

"Beyond amazing! It would only have been better if you would have been able to come. Oh, and I got you a shirt. Other than the concert, my summer involved lectures from my parents and sneaking out of the house to be with Rodney." Rodney is my "boyfriend", my parents don't approve of him though, they insist on thinking that I'm still a virgin and that he's a bad influence.

"At least you got some over the summer, I was stuck with my cousin Andrew, and do you know what Andrew likes? He likes model trains and airplanes. He doesn't give a rat's ass about anything I'm interested in, so I spent my time in the back yard under a tree, pretending to read "normal" books, while I sketched out drawings of morbid-ness." It was at this point in our conversation that the cursed bell rang.

"Shall we off to homeroom so that we may get our schedules to see if we have any classes together?" I suggested. Sloane nodded gloomily. "Sloane, why don't you take an art class or something? I mean, you are _really_ good at it!"

"Because then the man might think that I will show an interest in any class that this hell hole has to offer. You and I are in this together, we are boycotting the high society public school system." We locked elbows and entered the building.

"Hey, let me see your schedule," Sloane said once the papers had been handed out. "They put us in four classes together, plus homeroom and lunch, fools."

"That's great! But your right, they are fools." Suddenly a great idea sprung into my head, sitting at the back of the room with Sloane next to me. "Hey, do you think we should raise a little hell for our teachers today?" Sloane nodded eagerly. "We have Spanish first, right? Well, let's say we write some profanities and their translations on the board?"

"I'm in!" She pulled out her dictionary of Spanish/English translations. It contained every word imaginable. "What exactly should we write? Senor Juarez is a fucking bitch?"

"Totally," I agreed, all too eager.

**Line**-Graduation

_It's finally over! Now I'm off to the city with Sloane, and our parents won't stop us!_ Some kid named Mark some-thing-or-other stood at the podium giving the usual shitty speech that every class Valedictorian gives.

Sloane and I pulled each other into a hug when the ceremony was finally done. Our back-packs sat at our feet, we weren't even going to go home, we were going to hop on a bus and go to N.Y.C. non-stop. We bounced up and down, smiles creasing our normally impassive faces.

"April, hurry up! Run faster! We're going to miss our bus!" I sped forward. We reached the bus just as it pulled in, we handed the man standing outside the bus our tickets, and got on. Now it was just a two hour bus ride before we arrived in New York City!

**Line**- NYC, two years later

_My God, he's sooooo HOT!_ I looked up at the man singing on the stage at CBGB's. He's the lead singer of the band the Well Hungarians...definitely potential boyfriend material. I mean, the lyrics are so, moving! I'm going to meet him!

I waited around until he and the rest of the Well Hungarians got off the stage; apparently he had noticed me looking up at him, because he came over to me right away. I smiled something I still seldom did. "Hi, I'm Roger," he said. _God he's hot! Say something!_

"I'm April. I loved your music!"

"Thanks, so, uh, are you busy tonight?" _You mean other than bailing Sloane out of her screwed up mistakes?_

"No, why, did you have something in mind?"

"Do you wanna have dinner?" _ Aw, an old-fashioned type._

"Sure, but I have something I need to tend to first, you can join, if you want..."_ I knew what I needed, I needed a hit, and badly!_

"Um, okay," he said a bit shyly. I leaded him out of the crowded club and into the New York City nightlife. There he was, The Man, my dealer. "Wait, you do drugs, don't you?"

I could only nod. Never the less, he continued walking with me as I approached The Man. He nodded to me, and I dug out a twenty from my purse. He handed me a baggie with white powder in it, heroin, in exchange. Roger followed me down the alley a little further. "Do you want to try it?" I asked. Roger had looked curious, and well, I might as well date another junkie. After a moment, Roger shrugged and nodded. I put a little of my stash in the needle and handed it to him, I tied my bandanna around his arm, making his vein pop out. He injected the needle into his arm and pushed the liquid into his arm. He handed the needle back to me, and I did the same.

After we both were on our high, we forgot all about dinner, and went to a hotel room instead. It was there that I lost my virginity.

**Line**- One year later

I sat on the taped up couch in the loft, Roger was at a gig tonight, and I had a headache. Who would have guessed in high school, that Mark Cohen, the Valedictorian, would end up living in the same apartment with one, Roger Davis, a rocker, and me, April Erikson, damn proud to be different, in New York City, city of outcasts. He was standing by the loft's entrance with his girlfriend Maureen. She lived here too, as did Collins, both of whom are proud anarchists. We sure do make an odd bunch, but I guess in New York, everyone is odd. Roger was due back around four a.m., and it wasn't yet ten-thirty..._God, I need another hit!_ "Guys, I'm going to go out for a little bit, I'll be back when I'm back." We had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy here at the loft, they didn't ask me if I was going to go to buy smack, and I didn't tell them I was. We both knew where I was going. I grabbed my jacket, and headed out the door.

_Today is Friday, so he'll be in the alley by the Cat Scratch Club_. I made my way there through the cold, and found him to be exactly where he always was on Friday's. I handed him a ten and a five, and he handed me a baggie with my salvation in it. I shot up right there in the alleyway, as I didn't have a needle at home. _Stupid-ass Mark, throwing away mine and Roger's needles._ The man had given me one to borrow, I knew it wasn't safe, but I didn't care about that, I just knew I needed that hit. I was sore, and I wanted to escape the pain. With a smile, I handed him back his needle, and walked out of the alley.

**Line**- The next week.

Roger came home last night, and God, it must have been a good night because we fucked like we never had before. Why I was so sore, I didn't know. _Maybe I'm coming down with something._ I grabbed my jacket and scribbled Roger a note saying I was going to go to the free clinic.

_God, this can't be...It has to be wrong, a mistake, something! I couldn't have, HIV! I can't be pregnant! God, what a screwed up life. I should've bought a new, clean needle. I shouldn't have used that old one. Now I've probably gave it to Roger, since we had run out of condoms, but we both wanted the sex._ I had made up my mind. I went into the bathroom, locked the door, started running the water, and I wrote a note to Roger, informing him that we have AIDS. I grabbed my razor out of the cabinet behind the mirror. Slowly I drew the blade across my wrist, cutting deep, as deep as I could, drawing blood instantly. I switched to my other wrist, turned off the water, and got into the tub, my clothes still on, and went underwater.

**Line**- After her death

_I shouldn't have come to heaven, I didn't deserve it. Yet I'm here. I'm glad that Roger found someone else, now if only he would stop acting like an ass! Maureen dumped Mark for her now girlfriend Joanne. Collins even had found someone and had finally opted to stay in New York. Maybe my dying was a good thing, a necessary thing, a road to the present. I'm not saying I regret my decision, but, well, I'm happy for my friends. I hope the can live long lives with the ones they love._

**Line**

There you have it. Please review, even if you hated it. THIS IS A ONESHOT! Just wanted to classify. Speak your mind! HINT REVIEW HINT! My love, -Diva


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